What videos should I get? I almost got into a fight and but I did not, I backed away instead! I got scared and my Systema Spetsnaz skills just went out from the window. What videos do you recommend, so it won’t happen again? How can I take away my cowardice? How can I stop being a coward and get into a fight without being scared? Please help me! I need all your help! I am tired of being a coward!
First of all, I would like to tell you THANK YOU for your request. There are a lot of people who feel the same but do not have the courage to admit their fear. Thank you for your honest email. We appreciate you being open and share your situation with us! You are not a coward because it takes a lot of inner strength to write this request! You have an incredible inner power, your soul power, that just hidden inside you and pushing you to find answers, to be a Man, protect yourself and your family.
What is cowardice?
Cowardice is a natural protective reaction. It is a healthy instinct. When we born we already have it. Cowardice helps us to be alert, help us “feel” the danger and gives us a signal for further reaction.
From Wikipedia ~ “Cowardice is a trait wherein fear and excess self-concern override doing or saying what is right, good, and of help to others or oneself in a time of need – it is the opposite of courage. As a label, “cowardice” indicates a failure of character in the face of a challenge.”
We are not 100% agree with such definition. We believe that cowardice should go together with courage. If you deny your “cowardice”, then you will deny your natural instinct, deny your intuition. Cowardice is like “yellow light” when you are driving a car. It warns you that you have a few seconds before the “red signal”.
The task is to treat your “cowardice” with respect and understand its purpose and use it to your advantage!
Two reasons of feeling cowardice
There are major 2 reasons why people feel cowardice:
- The first reason of cowardice is the lack of self-defense knowledge. When a person does not know how to fight, does not know how physically defend himself – he feels scared and runs away. But this is just the knowledge. It is like – if you do not know how to drive a car, you do not get into a driving seat. And again, this is a healthy reaction. If you do not know how to fight, do not have enough experience, the best way to protect yourself is to run away. We are, at Systema Spetsnaz, believe that the best self-defense is to avoid a fight. If there is a way to avoid physical confrontation – do it! And it takes a lot of courage not to go into a fight. Some people feel anger and get into fighting right away. The courage is the ability to see the possible negative outcome of the fight and find the inner strength to solve the situation without physical injuries.
- The second reason of cowardice is the lack on self-confidence. The person might know hundred self-defense techniques, but not able to use them. The roots of lack of self-confidence come from our childhood and life experience. Most people can get self-confidence back without going to a psychotherapist and analyzing their past.
If you ever wonder about if Spetsnaz Soldier feels fear and how they gain a courage, the Lieutenant will tell you the truth in the following short video:
How to stop being a coward?
It is important to realize which of 2 reasons above applies to you and work on that problem directly. Very often person has both problems. If this is your case, then we recommend working on them simultaneously. Below, we recommend you some DVDs and psychological exercises. We recommend to take one DVD and practice for 3 days (twice a day), then take a rest for 2 days, then work on another DVD for 3 days, then rest again. After 40 days come back to the first DVD.
1. Lack of self-defense skills – if you can not get the full Systema Spetsnaz training set of DVDs, then start with DVD #3 – Elements and Exercises (it will help you to gain the physical strength), then DVDs #4, DVD #5 (very important), DVD #7, DVD #8 and DVD #10. Those DVDs are must as a foundation knowledge of the Systema Spetsnaz!
2. Lack of self-confidence:
a) Self-Development DVDs – DVD #11, DVD #12, DVD #13, DVD #14 and DVD #19. Those DVDs will teach you about breathing and relaxation, about the combat trance. Before you get into any fight – you have to be ready from the “inside”. Your body should be relaxed. You have to learn when to be tense and when to be relaxed and the most important how to switch between those 2 states.
b) take a notepad and for 40 days (every day) write at least 3 things that you did better than yesterday. It can be as simple as “Today I brushed my teeth better than yesterday” or “today I was able to manage my time better than yesterday”. Every day write NEW things, not repetition!
The goal of this exercise is to train your brain to see the progress! You should write it down, not think about it. By writing it on a paper you are making a statement. A written statement is much powerful than our thoughts, that come and go.
c) during 40 days (can be done together with exercise above) try to do something differently. For example, brush your teeth with your left hand, eat your breakfast with your left hand, try a new route to your work, instead of coffee drink a tea.
The goal is to break the pattern of cowardice. You are used to running away from frightening situations. To break this pattern you need to train your brain to do “unusual” things, look for new variations, see new possibilities in life.
Why 40 days? Because this is the amount of time that you need to develop a new habit. Some scientist says – 21 days, some 30 days, some 90 days. From our experience, if you do it less than 40 days, then, in time, you will get back to your old pattern. 40 days works the best for most people. And if you miss one day then start again from day 1. For example, if you did exercise for 10 days and then forget about it on the 11th day – take 3 days rest and start again for the next 40 days. No interruption within 40 days!
Watch also about “learned helplessness” and practice the recommended exercises from the psychologist:
To summarize, we’d like to add – being able to see your cowardice is the first step towards the courage! You can not gain courage if you do not know your fears.
Remember, the Spetsnaz soldiers were not born as a Spetsnaz, they practiced, learned and were working with their fear day after day!